


You just know

by velocitygrass



Series: Ever fallen in love? [8]
Category: Stargate Atlantis RPS
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Partner Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-26
Updated: 2006-11-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knowing you love someone is not always as easy as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You just know

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely a work of fiction.

"How do you know... if you're in love?"

His eldest was fidgeting just a bit and Joe had to force himself to keep his smile in check.

"You just know," he said.

He wasn't surprised by his son's reaction. "'You just know.' That's really helpful, Dad."

"It's all I can say. Trust me on this, you'll know."

Aidan gave him a look as if he wasn't _quite_ sure if his father was just pulling his leg, but then shrugged in acceptance and walked away.

Joe watched him go. He briefly thought about Melissa Miller, his first crush in high school, so long ago. He shook his head, it made him feel old to think about how long ago it was, how many times he'd had the chance to fall in love. A gallery of faces appeared in his mind, beginning with Melissa, quickly moving from her to others, Claudia, Peter, Wendy, Steve, Francie, and his wife. And then...

He got up and took his cup of tea with him going to his study.

On his way he passed his wife and their youngest son at the table with paper-mâché spread all over it. His heart surged with affection, but...

In his study he took out his cell phone and called the number before he could change his mind. Waiting for an answer he looked out of the window. It was a cloudy fall morning. He could see that it would rain that day.

"Hey, what's up?" came David's familiar voice.

Joe couldn't speak for a moment. His emotions felt crystal-clear for once, and he let them run, let his feelings wash over him. He hadn't lied to his son. You just knew.

"Joe?" David asked and his voice held a worried note now, along with a tinge of fear.

It pained Joe to hear that fear, because he knew that _he_ put it there. He supposed that somewhere deep inside David was always fearing it, the next time that Joe would say that they couldn't go on like this and even more that Joe would really mean it one day and go through with it.

He had _tried_ to end it, to finally resolve this, because the situation as it was was unfair to all of them. But it had never worked. And now he knew that he simply had always tried it the wrong way. He _would_ resolve this for all of them. For David.

"I love you," Joe said into the phone, because he did, had for a while now.

He could practically feel David's intake of breath. David didn't say anything.

Joe wasn't surprised. He'd never said it, of course he hadn't. He remembered the day David had said the words, had let them slip, while Joe was inside him. Joe had frozen, looked at him, then slid out and locked himself up in the bathroom for half an hour.

He hadn't even spoken to David for over a week after that and David had promised to never say it again and that it didn't mean anything, it had just come out of his mouth, Joe knew him, he said all kinds of non-sense when they had sex or when they didn't for that matter.

Joe had nodded and still not spoken to him for the rest of that morning, until at lunch he had come up to David and talked about the next episode. The relief on David's face had almost broken his heart.

It hadn't been that David loved him. Joe had known that for a long time, since shortly after they started this. David didn't hide his feelings. He wasn't like Joe.

What had driven him away from David at that moment were his own feelings. When David had told him he loved him, Joe had felt so happy that he knew. He knew, but refused to acknowledge the truth because he couldn't handle it. He wasn't sure if he could handle it now, but he finally accepted it and was willing to live with the consequences. And David more than anyone deserved to know it.

"David?" he asked into the phone.

"What are you saying?" came the answer and there was still the doubt and fear, but also hope.

"I just wanted to let you know," Joe said not able to say what he really meant. It scared him too much to put it into words.

"Are you..." David began and Joe could hear the various ways this could be continued. _...breaking up with me? ...still coming to the cabin this weekend? ...saying what I think you're saying?_

"I'll see you day after tomorrow," Joe said, because it was the easiest question to answer.

"Joe, I..."

"This weekend," Joe said, because he wanted to look David in the eye when David said those words again. And Joe definitely wanted to look David in the eye, when Joe responded.

"Okay. I'll see you then," David said, still sounding a bit forlorn, as if he couldn't quite believe it yet.

"Good-bye," Joe said and hung up.

He'd make David believe it. But before that he had to talk to his wife.

He was afraid, afraid of what she'd say, of having to hurt her, of what this would do to their family, to his life, but at the same time it was as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

Outside it started to rain. Joe didn't mind. He could weather a little rain and in any case he loved the air after a shower. He briefly wondered if it would rain on the weekend. But it didn't matter. He was pretty sure they'd stay inside.


End file.
